Duck Trivia Questions...

Where is the biggest duck in the world?

Cut and paste this link into your address bar to find out...

http://fortuna.home.pipeline.com/cafe-compendium/duck.htm

In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor. One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe nonlinear waterfowl issue." Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, " What exactly is that?"

The programmer replied, "They don't have their ducks in a row."

Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Quack." the duck answered.

"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.

"I was stepping on bubbles." he answered.

The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Quack," the duck answered.

"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.

"I was stepping on bubbles." the duck replied.

Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck.

"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said.

"No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles."

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!"
"Your eyes work", replies the duck, wryly.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.

"And your ears", says the duck,
"Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?".

"Certainly", says the landlord, "sorry about that... it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".

"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.

The landlord watches, astounded, as the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

The duck visits regularly for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The owner of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him,
"You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus - he talks, drinks beer and everything!".

"Sounds marvellous", says the owner, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says,
"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".

"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?".

"At the circus", says the landlord.

"The circus?", the duck enquires, a bit bemused.

"That's right", replies the landlord.

"What, the place with the big tent?. Big canvas roof, hole in the middle, loads of animals?", asks the duck.

"That's right!", says the landlord.

The duck looks confused. "Why would they want a plasterer"

I have two ducks that I use as an alarm clock.

They wake me up at the Quack of dawn.